One-gift Christmas

What is it about the holidays that stresses us so much? While many of my friends get stressed by travel and family obligations, the largest source of frustration I hear about–and feel myself–is the pressure to buy, buy, buy. Unfortunately, most of us don’t spend enough quality time with our loved ones to know what they really need and what they’d really like. So your mother ends up with a sweater she’ll wear that day–and maybe next Christmas if you’re lucky; your brother gets a book he already read, and your dad gets a tie he’ll stuff in its box at the back of his sock drawer. In short, we often end up buying stuff that no one wants or uses.

Let’s be honest: None of us want to give or receive useless things. At the same time, however, many of us may want the opportunity to give gifts and honor that element of the holiday, but in a way that’s more meaningful or authentic. So how do we do it?

My family’s answer to this is what I’ll call “One-Gift Christmas.”

Here’s how it works. Each family member is a Secret Santa for one other family member. So for example, I get my dad, my dad gets my brother, etc. I made it a secret this year (to everyone but me), so there would be an added element of surprise. Then we each email the group a list of items that interest us, often sending links to the actual gift to make it easier. Our Secret Santa can only spend $30 to $40 on us, so the total of our gift ideas have to cost less than this.

Everyone then pays me $10 for stocking stuffers, and I go to Cost Plus World Market or Trader Joe’s for food or treats to fill our stockings on Christmas morning.

And that’s it. 50 bucks for my family’s Christmas.

I admit, it may sound a bit mechanical. It may seem as if we’re taking the surprise and joy out of the holidays because we’re not trusting that our family member can see us and know us so deeply that they’ll buy the exact gift we want. But when you consider the alternative: Receiving something we don’t want and may throw away, returning the gift with receipt (even more mechanized), or stuffing the gift in the closet and never using it; it’s really a blessing to actually get exactly what you want on Christmas Day, and it’s more environmentally conscious as well. My family member is happy to see me genuinely excited when I open my present, and I am genuinely grateful.

There are many other ways to approach the holidays and reduce the stress: You can donate to a charity instead of gift giving, limit to one gift and hope for the best, or just forgo gifts entirely. But since opening presents Christmas morning is a time-honored ritual in my household, this is our solution to have the best of both worlds.

What about you? Any thoughts on gift-giving for the holidays and how to make it stress-free and meaningful?

Crazy Things That Apparently Originated in Turkey: Number Three!

NUMBER THREE: Santa Clause. Oh yeah, did I mention that Santa’s Turkish? Well, actually, he was Byzantine. But if someone ever lived in Turkey or moved to Turkey, or really liked Turkey (slight exaggeration), they’re basically Turkish. This one is actually true as well, though I’ll admit that Santa Clause has some crazy complicated roots. But let’s stick with the Christian ones. Saint Nicholas of Myra is considered the primary inspiration for the modern-day St. Nick. He was a 4th Century Greek Christian Bishop in Lycia (pron: Lyshia), a province of Byzantine Anatolia…and now known as Turkey. St. Nick was famous for his generosity and giving gifts to the poor–legend says he even gave three poor girls a dowry so they could get married and not have to go into prostitution. Now that’s my kind of saint.

Anyway, of course there are pagan roots to Santa Clause as well, like his connection to the god Odin, but that’s another topic. (But I have to ask, who do you think he looks more like, St. Nick in the fresco, or Gandalf, ahem…I mean Odin, to the right?)

The most important thing is that St. Nick’s tomb is still in Turkey in Demre (Ancient Myra). Unfortunately, in 1084 a bunch of pesky Italian merchants who were keen on St. Nick pushed past the monks living at the monastery there and raided the sarcophagus. They stole the remains and whisked them off to Italy, where they now remained sealed in a cathedral in Bari,  because for some reason Italy has to have everyone’s friggin’ remains in their cathedrals. Pesky Italians! Must everything in Turkey relocate to Italy? Is someone still grumpy about losing Constantinople? 

To check out the church and more about the story, click here.

Crazy Things That Apparently Originated in Turkey: Number Two!

NUMBER TWO: The Christmas tree decoration ritual. Oh yeah, it’s from Turkey. Apparently, even though almost everyone agrees that the christmas tree decoration originated in pre-Christian England or the Germanic peoples, archeologist Muazzez Ilmiye Çığ(nope–I can’t pronounce it either) has a new opinion to share: Turks invented the Christmas tree.

Çığ argues that the ritual stems from the Turkish tradition of the wish-making tree. Apparently people put special things for God under a white pine around the time of the winter solstice (Dec. 22nd), in hopes of getting blessed by God the following year. They also tied special cloths on the tree’s boughs, much like putting on ornaments. All of this was part of small festivities to celebrate the sun (like oh so many other pagan traditions), and people would “clean homes, sing folk songs, eat special foods and put on festive clothing.”

But here’s where he gets really convincing. Apparently this was a ritual originally practiced in Turkic Central Asia, then migrated to the Anatolian region (what is now Turkey). The birth of Jesus never used to be celebrated with a Christmas tree, but when the Council of Nicaea met in 325 A.D. (yes, in Turkey), it’s possible that these traditions began to sneak their way through Europe. (Okay, it didn’t quite sneak; Çığ says that it was Hunnish warriors that introduced it to Europe, so I’m guessing some murderous pillaging came along with it: Bow before my Christmas tree or I’ll chop off your head!).

Not everyone is down with this theory–in fact even some Turkish historians consider it wishful thinking. While there’s certainly some serious fact checking to do…it’s definitely interesting! Still not a believer? For more on the topic, click here.